Happy ever after - Top Ten Marriage Tips
Happy ever after
Dr Gian Gonzaga, relationship scientist for eHarmony.co.uk gives us his top ten tips on how to live happily ever after.
1 COMMUNICATE
Share your hopes, worries, frustrations and mess-ups with your spouse without fear of being judges and don’t judge your partner when they do the same. In marriage, living as a 24/7 partnership, there’s no way you can keep your guard up all the time. If you can begin married life with a ‘you can tell me anything’ relationship, then that’s a great start.
2 MAKE TIME
In our busy lives it’s easy to get caught up in general everyday routines, so it’s important for every married couple to make time for themselves. Make a point of arranging a night every week to do something different together; cook, go out for drinks, take a long walk, anything as long as it’s just the two of you spending quality time together.
3 INTIMACY AND ROMANCE
Carry on holding hands in public, making eyes at each other and playing footsie under the table. Intimacy and even a bit of flirting (with each other) are important in keeping the romance alive. Saying ‘I do’ shouldn’t kill the romance in your relationship.
4 INDIVIDUALITY
While you and your spouse probably share many common interests, there will be interests that you don’t share. It’s important to keep your individuality and not to forget the things that you really enjoy doing.
5 ADDRESS SMALL ISSUES BEFORE THEY GET BIG
Little irritations today can turn into big conflicts tomorrow. You probably already know what irritates your partner. If you know that leaving your dirty coffee cup on the side annoys them, take two minutes to wash-up the cup and don’t provoke an argument. Talk about little problems before they turn into big ones because if lots of minor issues go unaddressed resentment will build and little problems will turn into big ones.
6 CELEBRATE THE GOOD TIMES
The way you respond to your partner’s good news is as an important predictor of the health and strength of your marriage as the way you respond to bad news. Feeling that your partner is there for you when things go right in your life creates emotional safety and is vital to strong, healthy relationships.
7 LAUGH TOGETHER
One of the most important qualities in a successful marriage is humour. When you laugh with your partner you feel many positive emotions which grow into greater intimacy and closeness.
8 SPONTANEITY
It’s so easy to fall into boring routines and this kills romance. Go ahead, do the unexpected. Embrace the art of spontaneity and you certainly won’t feel life is stale.
9 ACHIEVING GOALS TOGETHER
Plan an adventurous trip away, learn a new skill or take up a new hobby together. Sharing a common goal and working together to achieve it keeps you close and can make your relationship more exciting and passionate.
10 COMPLIMENTING
A compliment goes a long way. Remember to tell your other half how fantastic they look, how nice they smell, how much you enjoy their company and make it genuine.
